Nungesser's Retrospective

Thanks to all of you who have read and posted replies to the threads I've posted about my two trips to Russia to adopt Ashton Beauregard.

I started this text and illustration of this blogas we set off on our first trip, but they got longer when I sat down one afternoon in Moscow after my DW and I arrived there after losing our second referral in Ulyanovsk. Writing those threads was cathartic and really did make me feel a lot better. Perhaps it was the chance to give vent to my penchant for sarcasm.

Many of you, especially those who have yet to depart for their first trip, have posted replies or sent me private messages thanking me for the posts. You’ve said you liked the verbal and visual descriptions of ordinary everyday life in Russia, the adoption process with various government officials, and tips for making travel in Russia more comfortable. I hope that reading our story and seeing our photos reduces the anxiety of at least one of you.

Many of you also asked for more of my feelings and innner thoughts during the process. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm a lot better at describing the things I externally observe. I've never been good at introspective writing. Through both our trips to Russia I never got sentimental. It was pretty much business. It was like I was there on behal of someone else; a spectator to my own life, calling all the plays but observing from the booth. Between trips we left a disposable camera with the baby home staff to take photos of Ashton Beau for us - something I urge others of you to do. When we got home I had those photos developed. It was not until I looked through those photos did it really hit me. I had momentary glimpse into Ashton Beau's world without me and DW, what his life would be like if we, or another parent or parents, did not go to Orenburg for him. I was near tears looking at those photos and all I have to do is think about them, without even pulling them out of the envelope, to bring me to the brink of tears again.

Now that the Russian travel leg of my journey is over, I hope that some of you take up the pen, or the keyboard, and to take all of us along on your trips to Russia. There is much I fondly remember and I’ll enjoy rekindling memories reading about your experience. I'll keep posting with more photos of Ashton Beau too.

If I had to sum up what it’s like to adopt from Russia in 100 words or less, I’d quote the following line from Al Swearengen. No, it’s not pretty and you won’t find it on an inspirational poster depicting sunsets, mountains, or puppies. It may even offend some of you. However, I find its coarseness sincere and authentic. It portrays how cruel being a prospective adoptive parent going to Russia can really be and what kept me going:

"I don't wanna talk to these cock suckers, but ya have to. In life, you have to do a lot of things you don't fuckin' want to do. Many times that's what the fuck life is, one vile fucking task after another... But, don't get aggravated... Then the enemy has you by the short hair"

If that offended you, I suggest you find a different road to parenthood, you need a stronger stomach. However, I assure you that when you go to Russia you will find some of the finest and most devoted people enaywhere in the world. Of those I met, I miss each of them and owe them something I can nver really repay. And that in in addition to your sons and daughters. In the end, it's all more than worth it!