Report #10: Orenburg to Chicago

Well this is going to be this season’s final episode of Desperate Adoptive Parents. In last week’s episode Sergei drove DW and me to the OrenburgAirport to catch a flight back to Moscow. When we checked in we were several kilos overweight but the front desk agent waived the overweight fee because Sergei promised to bring her some chocolate on his next visit to the airport. I got stopped at security because one of my bags had all the re-charge cables for our electronic equipment and it looked suspicious. After a quick and friendly had search with Sergei talking to the security agent I was on my way.

Sitting in the terminal waiting for the boarding call I sent a text message to our coordinator in Moscow to confirm our flight number and arrival time. About 30 minutes later came the call to board. Fist we stood in a vestibule area fro about another ten minutes as we waited for the gate agents to allow us to pass. Then it was a 200 meter walk across the open airport ramp out to the stairs to board the aircraft. One thing I really like about Russia is that they open up at least two boarding doors with two sets of stairs so the boarding process goes much faster. Soon we were seated on the plane and in the air.

Approximately two hours later we landed at DomomdedovoAirport in Moscow. Then we went down then stairs and onto a waiting bus to take us to our arrival gate. If you don’t like being close to strangers in crowded places, you are not going to like the bus ride. It’s like the set of a deodorant advertisement and I’m sure it will smell like one when we go back for what I hope to be trip number 2 when it’s warmer.

We exited the bus and went through the arrival gate. Then we stopped at the rest rooms before heading to baggage claim. We always made sure to stop when a restroom was available; we often never knew when the next opportunity would present itself. And contrary to many public restrooms in Russia, both the ladies and men’s rooms at Domodedovo were contemporary and clean. Our bags arrived quickly. I’ve posted some photos of the Domodedovo baggage claim area below. Like the rest of this airport, it is up to contemporary Western standards. Our Moscow coordinator, Pavel Nikolayevich, a/k/a Pasha, met us as we exited the baggage claim area. Then we were out the door, into the car park, and in the car on our way back to Moscow. I’ve posted some photo of the Domodedovo exterior below too.

The ride into Moscow city center took for ever, well actually about 105 minutes. Traffic was very heavy. We parked and went into the coffee bean for coffee. Hungary as we were, we enjoyed some very good pecan pie too.

I finished the book I was reading during the trip, so we walked down Tverskaya ul. to the book store a block or two north of Kamergersky per. So I could buy a new book. They had a pretty good English language section and I was able to find a 500+ page Robert Ludlum novel that made for good travel reading. Then we were back in the car on our way to Sheremetyevo II to catch Аэрофлот flight SU 316 back to JFK.

We were early so we took some time to shift things from one bag to another to lighten our carry-on’s. We went through the first security check-point where they hand searched each bag we were going to check. Then we checked-in, went through passport control and browsed through some of the duty-free stores. The duty-free shopping area at Sheremetyevo II is enormous. Much larger than anything I’ve seen anywhere else. After buying nothing among the duty-free shops, we camped out in the Аэрофлот lounge for about an hour until it was time to go to Gate 1 and board.

At the gate they have another security check-point. We removed our shoes (be prepared to do this at all Russian airport security check-points) and they hand searched all of our carry-on bags. As I stayed with the security screeners as the searched, DW exited the check-point and met up with another set of AP’s from Dallas on their way home from Yekaterinburg.

After clearing the security check-point we compared stories with the other AP’s then boarded. The flight was uneventful. I read most of the way and tried to stay awake so I could go to sleep on local time when we arrived in New York and minimize jet lag. We again were fortunate enough to sit in business class. On Аэрофлот the business class cabin has a 2-2-2 seating configuration. We sat in the middle two seats. I liked this more because DW and I both had direct access to the aisle so either one of use could get up, walk-around, and go to the restroom without disturbing the other.

To my right across the aisle was a very young Russian woman traveling with two young children – a six month old boy and a six year old girl. I thought she was their older sister or nanny; she just looked too young to have a six year old daughter. I’m sure she would have been flattered. However, the little girl addressed her as mama and mom. They also spoke flawless English. The little girl seemed to find me interesting and I picked up toys for her when she dropped them behind her seat. She even drew me a picture with her crayons addressed to Mr. Hart. It was very endearing.

It was also an educational and confidence building experience too. I got to observe international travel with small children first hand without having to be there on the firing line myself. And if one parent can travel with a six month old and six year old for nine hours between Moscow and New York, I’m now confident that two parents can travel with one one year old too.

It was about 5:00 PM when we arrived at JFK. Because we were the only arriving flight at that time, we breezed through baggage claim, immigration and customs. After exiting customs a driver with a sign with our name on it met us and took u to his waiting car. This time the car was in much better condition and the driver’s foot patterns on the gas and brake did not induce severe nausea.

About an hour later we arrived at my godparents’ townhouse in Smithtown on Long Island. My godfather welcomed us, we stowed our bags, and went out for a fine Italian supper. I hadn’t had an Italian meal in at least two weeks and sure tasted good. DW had not had salad fro two weeks either and she dug into that chicken Caesar. We saw no lettuce in Russia and the conventional wisdom is to avoid uncooked and unpeeled fruits and vegetables anyway.

The next morning the same driver took us from my godparents’ top LaGuardia for a United flight back to O’Hare. When we went through security at LaGuardia they seized the folding scissors out of the trail first-aid kit I took with us. After all the security check-points and multiple searches we’d been through without the slightest mention of the scissors, on the last leg of our trip, they stop me and take my scissors.

After another uneventful flight, my parents met us in the O’Hare baggage claim area and drove us back to our house where we started.

It was a long trip with more surprises than we expected. I know that in adopting from Russia not everything is going to go according to plan. I just didn’t expect to deviate that far and that early. In any event, there is nothing DW or I can do to change it so we take what comes. Still the image of the candidate we went to see in Ulyanovsk is burned onto my mind. I wonder what could or should have happened. I just now hope that all of the problems with his paperwork get sorted out and that a there is a family for him. Even though I’ll probably never know for sure, I’ll always wonder and the joy of meeting the boy in Orenburg who may become our son is tempered by the thought of another boy in Ulyanovsk and many others like him.

Let me take this opportunity to say thank you to each of you who participate on this forum. I have learned a tremendous amount form your posts and private messages. Your own stories have inspired DW and me and, in difficult times, your kind works have brought us consolation for the past, comfort for the present, and hope for the future. Thank you.

Now DW and I are back at home waiting to hear when the judge will schedule a hearing date and we can return to Orenburg and become parents. As you would expect, we are eager for a hearing soon and hope that the bumpiest part of the road is already behind us.

Stay tuned.

DW at Domodedovo baggage claim

Domodedovo baggage claim carousel



Nungesser at Domodedovo baggage claim



Main front entry to Domodedovo Airport



Retired Tupelov airliner on display outside Domodedovo Airport

Report #6A: Moscow to New York Via Orenburg

Ladies and gentlemen:

It’s been almost a week since my last report to you, so first allow me to first apologize for such a long absence.

In my last report, I explained how DW and I were not allowed to see the child we were referred when we arrive in Ulyanovsk. After futilely waiting there several days hoping the problem could be solved, we left by train for Moscow a week ago this evening and we arrived safely in Moscow last Saturday morning to re-charge and re-group. Since then, things have moved swiftly and I’ve not had enough time to sit down and another update. So here is an abbreviated report on our trip starting just after our arrival into Moscow last Saturday morning and ending this morning as I write to you.

For those of you who just can’t stand skipping to the last page of a book to see what happens in the end, stop reading. I will post a more comprehensive and illustrated narrative when I get a little bit more time.


STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO READ AHEAD TO THE END


SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DO WANT TO SKIP AHEAD



















































On Sunday evening DW and I flew to Orenburg. The next day we were introduced to a ten-month-old little boy on Monday afternoon. On Wednesday afternoon we went to the notary public to sign an (1) application to the Operator of the Federal Databank of Children Without Parental Care to remove this candidate from the Databank and (2) a Petition to Adopt this candidate to be filed with the applicable Orenburg Regional court. On Thursday morning we flew from Orenburg to Moscow, then switched airports and planes and departed Moscow for JFK. We arrived at JFK last night where a car picked us up and took DW and I to my godparents’ house on Long Island where I am writing to you from now. In about 90 minutes a car will pick-us up and take us to LaGuardia to fly the last leg of our journey home to Chicago.

Report #8: Orenburg Part 1

When DW and I arrived in Orenburg, our local coordinator, Natalia, asked for all the documents from our dossier that I had brought with me from Ulyanovsk. Unfortunately, I only had about five of the 13 documents she needed. So before we went to be very early Monday morning I gave her what I had. Representatives from my agency in Moscow and the US assured me and Natalia that they would get the remainder of the documents delivered to Natalia in Orenburg as soon as possible. They had an extra set, but those extras had already been sent to another region in anticipation of things in Orenburg not working out.

Natalia let us sleep in – we didn’t get to bed until approximately 3:00 AM local time, I think. It was hard by then to keep track to time. We met at around 11:00 AM in the lobby and prepared to go to get some brunch. Another AP joined us too; we’ll call her Tammy. She did not realize that Orenburg was two hour ahead of Moscow so we waited a little while for her.

Natalia took us to a restaurant that served traditional Russian cuisine with a giant stuffed bear wearing a Russian army officer’s peaked cap in the entryway. We ate bread and a vegetable and beef soup with a breaded cap over the top of a large bowl, similar to the breading on top of a bowl of French onion soup. During brunch we discussed the status of DW and my dossier and how it would affect our visiting the boy we came to see. Natalia told us that until she submitted our complete dossier to the MoE in Orenburg, we would not get permission to go to the baby home and see a little boy. We spent much time identifying a list of missing dossier documents and stepping outside to phone agency representatives, coordinators in Ulyanovsk, and translators trying to get the documents we needed.

By the end of brunch DW’s stomach was not feeling well and she decided to return to the hotel. Tammy would go with Natalia to the MoE to meet with officials there and hopefully get written permission to go to the children’s home and meet her referral. However, when DW and I arrived outside the hotel, Natalia phoned our driver, Sergei, and told him to bring us to the MoE too.

Within ten minutes we arrived at the MoE and ascended the stair into a hallway to find Natalia, Tammy, an interpreter named Vlad, and another coordinator named Olga. Natalia and Vlad were preparing Tammy for her meeting with the MoE officials. Then someone amongst this group said that DW and I would also meet with the MoE officials and they would consider granting us permission to visit the baby home and meet our candidate despite the absence documents from our dossier. We were both floored. So far the only unexpected events that we encountered turned out badly for us. Perhaps our fortunes would soon reverse. Vlad then moved over to DW and me t prep us for our meeting. He also asked us several questions that he knew from past experience the officials would ask us and made notes so he could expedite answers from us.

After waiting about ten minutes, Tammy went into her meeting and emerged smiling. It was now our turn. Unlike Ulyanovsk where the official’s office was like a telephone booth, this office was more like a medium sized conference room. A gentleman in his 50’s sat at the heard of the far end of the table. A lady in her late 50’s or early 60’s sat midway down the table on the side closest to us when we walked in. Vlad was seated at the head of the close end of the table. I sat down next to the lady on the side of the table and DW at down to my left between me and Vlad.

The lady and gentleman greeted us and, in Russian, DW and I returned their greeting. The gentleman opened up with questions related to information in our dossier – how long have you been married, why do you not have biological children, why do you want to adopt from Russia. These were similar to the questions that the official asked us in Ulyanovsk and I would wager are asked by many a MoE official and Russian judge. Why they ask some questions I can only wonder. Most of the answers are in the dossier we submitted months ago. However, because not our dossier arrived incomplete, and because we came on short notice, the officials probably did not have the answers already and wanted to find out from us.

My surname (and after our wedding, DW’s too) is patently Russian and a derivative of the Russian word for “eye.” There is even a town by the same name east of Kirov. They gentleman asked what my name meant. I replied “eyes”. He had an astonished look on his face. Apparently he did not understand my response and Vlad, our translator stepped into clarify. Apparently the gentleman was asking why I had a Russian surname and how it reflected on my background. I explained that most of my ancestors are from Russia or parts of eastern Europe that were part of the Russian Empire or Soviet Union when the emigrated to the United States, most recently my paternal grandfather who lived in Moscow before he came to the united States. From the looks on their faces I could tell this please both the gentleman and the lady. It also teed-up our answer to the often asked “why Russia” question.

He then asked some personal background questions of DW and me. Things like what are your hobbies? DW explained that she likes to garden and cook. I said that I usually work on our house and read history. These answers seemed to please them too. The gentleman said something, then he, the lady, and Vlad had a short chuckle. Then Vlad translated what the gentleman said: “he says you are the perfect couple.” I was hoping that we’d be close enough to perfect to get permission to see our candidate before the rest of our dossier arrived.

The gentleman also asked whether we understood our legal responsibilities regarding a child adopted from Russia after we arrived home. I said “yes” and replied that once back in the US we were prepared to register our child with the appropriate Russian consulate and submit post placement reports.

The whole meeting took less than ten minutes and we were soon back in the hallway with Tammy, Natalia, Olga, and Vlad waiting for a decision from the MoE officials on whether they would grant us permission to see our respective candidates. Within another ten minutes Natalia told us that the MoE officials had granted our requested and the DW, I, and Tammy would see our respective candidates later that day.

Allow me to digress momentarily regarding the many threads on this forum regarding learning to speak Russian before going to Russia. I learned as much Russian as I could before we left. During our meeting with the MoE officials, I was able to understand a good deal of what the question was before Vlad translated it into English. I responded to the MoE officials’ questions in Russian to the maximum extent I felt certain that I would not mis-communicate. After our MoE meeting, Vlad and Sergei both told me that it’s rare when AP’s converse in Russian and officials, orphanage personnel, judges, etc. like it when they do. He said that it conveys the AP’s respect for Russia, language people, and culture as well as showing the AP’s effort and commitment to the Russian adoption undertaking. This is something they appreciate; I’m sure that were the roles reversed, I would feel the same way too.

Also, speaking some Russian allowed us to understand more of what was going on and get around. Our translators could not be wit us 24/7 and when we wanted to go out, buy groceries, ask whether the restroom or Internet café was, we could do so under our own power. For instance, our apartment hostesses in Ulyanovsk too us to the local bazaar (flea market) that is a very popular place to shop. I noticed one of our hostesses admiring a purse while we were there. Knowing a little Russian made it far easier to go back to the booth with the purse, buy it, and give it to our hostess as a gift before we departed for Moscow.

So, for the reasons mentioned above, allow me to urge you to learn as much Russian as you can before you depart. I primarily used the Pimsleur CD’s to learn Russian. Here is a link to an earlier post on another thread with details on the resources I used to learn, understand, and speak some Russian.

http://forums.adoption.com/showthread.php?p=719510&highlight=pimsleur#post719510

We left the MoE to walk about a block to the office of one of the social workers overseeing our candidates. We were in the lobby there for about ten minutes and then went back to our hotel with instructions to be ready to go to the baby home in about an hour. An hour later we were in the car headed for the baby home. The ride was about 20-25 minutes Amidst some large concrete apartment blocks that are the ubiquitous hallmark of urban Russian residences, we pulled up to the baby home and got of the car.

Olga took us to the music room. We took off our coats, sat down on a couple of chairs and waited for some time. As we waited Sergei read through my phrase book and Vlad joined us too. They laughed about the remarks and recommendations about Russian culture, especially the description of people who act like walruses by diving into icy cold water in the winter time. After 30 minutes that seemed like 30 days, two ladies appeared and sat down at a table across the room from us. One I think was a social worker and the other, by the look of her white lab coat and stethoscope around her neck, was a physician or a nurse. Like the officials at the MoE, they asked us many questions about ourselves, why we wanted to adopt, why from Russia, and, upon reading our surname, about our Russian ancestry. They even mentioned that the birth-mother’s passport number was not on her relinquishment letter. Because of the disaster we experienced in Ulyanovsk several days earlier due, ostensibly, to the same omission, I asked whether this would be a problem again. No problem they said. Birth-mothers’ passport numbers are frequently omitted from relinquishment letters and it’s not a problem. Made me wonder for a moment about the veracity of the initial story DW and I received in Ulyanovsk. Then we moved on and asked questions about the little boy.

Then a caregiver arrived bearing a very adorable ten month old little boy. He’s small for his size with large blue eyes and a little bit of sandy colored hair. The care giver handed him to DW. He didn’t make any noise, just looked at her and about the music room. Having heard that children in Russian baby homes are not familiar with men, I stayed off to the side, but not too far away so he could get used to my presence without frightening him. I figured his curiosity would get the better of him sooner of later and he would come over to me. I asked Vlad to explain to the doctor and social worker that I was very interested, but keeping a safe distance to avoid frightening this young boy.

After some time DW asked me if I wanted to take him. I could not resist and said yes. She handed him to me and picked him up. Fireworks did not go off, neither of us shed tears, the moment was not dramatic, but it was subtly profound. I wish we had photos, however, we were told that because our dossier was not complete, we should not take pictures. Having caught a big break just being there, we decided not to press our luck.

We spent approximately two hours in the music room together. The time went by very quickly. When it was time to go we said good bye, returned to the car and then went to dinner at he same place we had lunch. I had a beer and a bowl of palmenyi, a Russian dumpling filled with meat.

Later in the evening we went to the super market to buy some food and then to an Internet café filled with teenagers smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. How I wish that had places like that when I was 16. I was clean out of Rubles so I borrowed 500 from Sergei so DW and I could use the terminal. We at down and composed an e-mail to Dana Johnson, M.D. at the University of Minnesota. We then returned to our hotel room and went to bed. At about 3:00 AM my mobile phone rang with Dr. Johnson and a representative from our adoption agency in the US. Dr. Johnson gave us his report and asked us to send him photos from our next visit.

The music room at the baby home

More of the music room at the baby home with Sergei working